I’m a big fan of the movie, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Matthew Broderick did a marvelous job of embodying a high school boy in the spring of his senior year. Ferris is fun, carefree and always up for an adventure. He wants to make the most of his time left with friends before college. So, 3 kids play hooky and spend the day making lifelong memories.
Do you ever want to play hooky from your life? Not many adults can pull it off. By the way, being sick doesn’t count! Neither does a planned vacation because, well, it’s planned! Plus, people pack so many activities and excursions into their 1 week away it feels as if they swap one form of busy for another.
I fondly recall a long weekend trip to Saugatuck, Michigan. My husband and I stayed at a B&B a stone’s throw from Lake Michigan. This stately farmhouse had a wraparound porch with comfy furniture, beautiful views and soft breezes. We found ourselves spending time every day on that porch. Sometimes we had coffee, other times a glass of wine. We spent lots of quiet minutes doing nothing and enjoying ourselves immensely. The innkeepers told us we were two of the most relaxed visitors they had hosted in their 5 years of ownership. Apparently most people were busy from morning till night touring every small town and shop in the area. Ah, the early, carefree years of marriage can be so sublime!
Fast forward 10 years and 2 kids later and the same couldn’t be said for us. We were in another season of life and nary a moment of free time to be found. Maybe you can relate, even tell me that it’s ok to run around like crazy with and for your children. The problem is that a habit gets formed and becomes extremely hard to break. You end up feeling you need to fill up every minute of your waking hours with stuff. You may even feel guilty if you come across a free hour in your day. Instead of relaxing you fill it up with something. Then, children leave the house but still need you. Possibly, children move back home, or maybe aging parents move in, and your life is more hectic and stressed than ever. Your head is spinning with places to be and things to get done. It’s familiar to you, yes? Old habits die hard. Playing hooky is not in your thoughts, on the calendar, or even close to orbiting around your world.
WHAT WOULD FERRIS DO?
He would be desperately seeking some down time! And, you should too. You need to relearn how to be ok doing nothing, absolutely nothing. Withdrawal from the “hectic habit” can be painful. You may begin labeling yourself lazy, guilt invades your thoughts, anxiety infiltrates your body. You think others are judging you, talking about you behind your back, wondering why you said no to the volunteer opportunity. See what I mean?
First of all, other people are way too busy with their own lives to care about yours. That may sound harsh but it’s true. Secondly, thinking you’re lazy is just crazy self-talk. Inserting 1 hour of downtime into your day can hardly be considered dawdling. It’s more like self-preservation. Last but not least, guilt and anxiety will end up getting you sick.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?
For starters think back to when you were a kid. What did you love to spend time doing when you were given free reign to choose? Some of those same things may still appeal to you today. Try one on, see how it fits.
I loved reading when I was young and still do today. I get so engrossed in the written word I don’t ever think I’m wasting time. I also enjoyed riding my bike on the dirt roads at the edge of my hometown. In the summertime you could hear the corn stalks moving in the breeze and not much else. Sometimes I’d meet a friend by one of the tiny wooden bridges for a picnic lunch. I have fond memories of our “girl talks”. The backyard of the house across the street had a glider swing. It was a magical place with all kinds of trees, flowers and garden art. I could sit on that swing and daydream contentedly. I only wish I had a place like that to escape to today.
Giving yourself the gift of retreating doesn’t have to cost a penny or take any planning at all. It just requires you loosening the tight grip you hold on your life and letting a bit of frivolity in, lightheartedness and lack of seriousness wise goddess!
RETREATING IDEAS
- Dance to your favorite music – find a spot in your house, turn on the tunes and start moving. Good for your body, mind and spirit and as simple as it gets. Need a nudge to get going, dance with me here.
- Walk barefoot in the grass – Have you heard of Earthing? Without taking a deep dive into the subject you can connect with the earth, get your negative electron charge on and reduce electrical imbalances in your body. Say what?? It may sound nuts but what’s the harm in trying for at least 30 minutes. You may just find yourself sleeping better and reducing pain in your body. At the very least, you spend some time in nature and chill.
- Hug a tree – Right about now you are thinking I’m a throwback to the 60s hippies. Nope, I’m talking about a Japanese tradition that has us reconnecting with nature. Fresh air and sunshine are fabulous but there is added benefit from being surrounded by plants and trees. Head to a park or forest preserve near you and imbibe in the terpenes given off by all the foliage. Say what, yet again?? Terpenes are hydrocarbon compounds that have some great perks. Among these are temporary mood enhancement as well as anti- inflammatory and anti-fungal benefits. Try it for a minimum of 30 minutes and leave your tech devices in the car or at home.
- Be bored – Here’s a question for you, how long can you go without looking at your phone? It’s sad but statistics show the average person can barely go 10 minutes without grabbing for their portable tech. I read a snippet in the book, Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff, where the author, Richard Carlson, had gone on a study trip to a tiny town in Washington state. The instructor told Richard part of the training was to allow himself to be bored. He went on to say if you allow yourself to be bored, for an hour or even less and don’t fight it, you replace the boredom with peaceful feelings. Practice this technique for a while and your body and mind can learn to relax.
- Go for a swing – Did you have a swingset growing up? I loved to swing and sing. Luckily I had my own backyard to do it in as I’m not the best singer. I also told you I borrowed the neighbor’s glider swing from time to time. So, find a swing and enjoy some time finding the perfect rhythm to free your mind from the day to day worries life can bring.
- Dig in the dirt – Do you like to garden? Tending a garden, vegetable or flower, can be very therapeutic and fun at the same time. It turns out using bare hands to toil in the soil puts you in touch with microbes that can be beneficial to your mental health. Actually, just breathing in the dirt can lighten your mood. No matter what, planting, watering, weeding and deadheading can take your worries away and grow more happy hormones in your bloodstream. You will also have fresh food to eat and beautiful flowers to admire and pick for bouquets.
- Make a date with water – If you live near a lake, river or ocean take some time to hang out by the water. This could be as simple as sitting on a chair and watching the ripples or waves, walking or biking by the water, kayaking or canoeing on top of the water or even building a sand castle. The sights and sounds of water are soothing to the soul.
- Listen to music – No matter where you live there is sure to be outdoor music options available during fair weather months. Some of these offerings are free of charge. All you need to do is bring a blanket or chair, maybe a picnic basket and enjoy the next hour or so, tech free. Foul weather may find you indoors but music can still be a go-to retreat. Put some favorite tunes on, grab a tea or glass of wine and let the music take over. Many times certain songs can invoke happy, silly or monumental moments in your life. Let the memories wash over you and chillax.
- Hang with an animal – If you have a pet, spend some time with it. Just petting an animal can lower your blood pressure and give you peace of mind. Walking a dog can give you some exercise and your furry friend an adventure. If you don’t have a pet, visit an animal shelter and give some love to the many stray and surrendered animals. It will make you and a bunch of fur babies happy.
- Watch a moonrise or sunset – Catching a full moon coming up over the horizon is a beautiful sight. I’ve seen sunsets that make me want to become an artist. Both are wonderful events that lend themselves to giving you quiet moments of awe and wonder. Stargazing can also be a wonderful pastime. However, to truly view the twinkling stars you will need to find a spot far away from the bright lights of a city. Enjoying Mother Nature in this way makes you realize there is an unchanging thread weaving through the days, months and years.
JUST DO IT
The above list doesn’t include some of the pricey ideas Ferris and his friends enjoyed. They finagled a table at a fancy restaurant and went to a Cubs game at the illustrious Wrigley Field in Chicago at a moment’s notice. While these things are a stretch to imagine happening, in a movie anything goes. The above no plan, free ideas are very doable for everyone. The point is to add some of them into your life, on a daily basis if possible, but certainly weekly.
You may have noticed that the great outdoors plays an integral part in many of the retreating ideas. That’s because we used to be much closer friends with nature. And, we were better off for it, physically and mentally. Take a break from the tech and head outside more often. Let’s see if you can avoid your cell phone for 1 hour per day and play hooky!
